Service with a Chuckle (or, That Damn Tree)

Christine talks about our dinner at Black Eyed Pea. I have very rarely seen such a total and complete lack of judgment. (Plus, it just wasn’t funny.)

The first part of the day was spent wrestling with a damn tree. We have a bougainvillea in our back yard that had previously been held upright by a chain. I said “previously”; I came home last week to find that the chain was in fact plastic, and that it had failed in its job. Simply purchasing a heavier metal chain didn’t work, as the weight of the tree and the chain promptly ripped the anchoring nail out of the eaves.

Today’s task, then, was to wrestle this tree into some sort of relatively-upright position. I’m using the term “tree” loosely – this is more like a collection of vine-like stalks with 1.5 inch thorns all over. The solution involved two strap ties to gather the bunches of the tree, two 8-foot long 2×4 boards screwed together sort of like a flat teepee, and a pair of good work gloves. By sliding the makeshift frame under the tree, lying on my back with it, and pivoting it up. the idea was to raise the tree.

One stubborn hour later, the tree is off the ground and at least somewhat stable. I am covered in scratches from the tree and at various times in the day have come close to lopping off about half of the bulk of the tree. (Christine’s attached to it – something about aesthetics, I think – so I’ve refrained.) It’s still not held up to the house, but that’s for another day. Bactine, anybody?