I’ve neglected my poor blog. It was out of honest necessity – it’s been an amazingly hectic and full time – but that means there is so much to catch up on.
In brief,
- The bass arrived safely, and I’m having a damn good time with it;
- I’m now 29. Mom told me very tongue-in-cheek that if I had any more things to accomplish in my twenties, I’d better get them done now. Looking back on the past nine years, I’d like to coast on my laurels for a change, thank you very much;
- I have a new job title, staff reporting to me, and other kickass work changes.
Instead, I’ll tell you about my latest culinary milestone. I can now say that I’ve caused a grease fire, and can scratch that off the list of things to do before I die.
The scene? Mother’s day, which we hosted due to renovation at my in-law’s house. The menu was grilled steaks, roast potato wedges, and stir-fried broccoli. I’ve cooked broccoli like this twice before, recently, to rave reviews from Jason. Essentially, you heat up a cast iron skillet, add a little safflower oil, toss in the broccoli pieces, and stir like a madman. In about 30 seconds you have yummy broccoli. (Even better if you sprinkle with a bit of Chinese five spice or Italian herbs afterwards.) No big deal, high heat is important, et cetera.
This time, I let the pan get good and hot, and poured in about a quarter cup of safflower oil. As I watched it heat, bubble, and begin to smoke, I realized that this was probably not good – or, as Han Solo would say, “I’ve got a bad feeling about this.”
About that time, the oil ignited.
Fortunately, I had my oven mitt on, and had already pulled the pan off the heat and out from under the cabinets, strategically placed directly over the burner. I estimated that I had three foot flames; I’ve later been told that this was conservative, and that four foot is probably more accurate. And, of course, this is the first time that I’ve stir-fried broccoli without getting the baking soda out of the pantry first.
Let’s observe for a moment. I’m standing in my kitchen holding a skillet that is a) getting very hot, despite the oven mitt, b) getting very heavy, being made of cast iron,and c) spitting four foot flames. With my wife and her parents looking on.
Christine pulled the baking soda out of the pantry for me, we doused the flames, turned on the downdraft vent to pull out some of the smoky haze, and had raw broccoli with dinner. Mmm.
Note to self – practice that dish a few more times before doing it for an audience.
This, however, is a more typical day over the last few weeks than an oddity. Like I said, hectic. Welcome to my world.
{ 5 comments… read them below or add one }
Erm, baking soda? Is that supposed to douse the flames? I would have thought that you would need rather a lot to have any effect. Over here, it comes in tiny tins. I think I’ll take my chances with the fire blanket that’s hanging on the back of the cupboard door under the sink… Either that, or put the lid on the pan to snuff out the flames…
You have a knack for humorous story telling. However, DO NOT FRY OR SAUTEE WITHOUT BAKING SODA AT HAND – ALSO A LID IS A GOOD IDEA. Beyond that, I *think* the idea is to put the oil in a cold skillet and let it heat *with* the skillet to desired temp (NOT overheated).
I am terrified. I know it’s a little late, but nevertheless….
Congrats on the new job title, staff reporting to you, and mysterious etc.s.
Geoff, what is a fire blanket? I take it you live overseas. A fire blanket sounds like something we could use.
Geoff –
It actually didn’t take all that much to douse – remember, there’s actually very little material actually burning, it’s just doing so rather dramatically. Also, realise the difference between baking soda (sodium bicarbonate) and baking powder (baking soda plus an acid, e.g. cream of tartar). Baking powder is sold in small tins here, baking soda comes in a slightly larger box.
It works well to smother the flames, as you really (!!) don’t want to use water on a pan full of burning oil unless you want to coat the room with drops of burning oil.
I suppose a fire blanket would be the same effect, so you’re probably set there. A lid would have been nice, but I don’t have a lid close to the size needed to cover the pan.
Mom, yes, a fire blanket is actually exactly what it sounds like – a flame-retardant blanket. Effective for smothering flames. You’ll see them in commercial/industrial settings over here, but they do see home use overseas.
Mike – yup, I meant baking soda (sodium bicarbonate). And yes, it still comes in very small tins over here. I can’t help feeling that I’d need a big pot of it to put fires out with. Baking powder comes in tiny, tiny, paper packets…
Hi Mike
Love your story about the broccoli! I also love the fact that you actually say…
“I suppose a fire blanket would be the same effect,”
I have this image, of a “fire blanket” hanging in your kitchen, next to your apron and tongs.
That’s some serious cooking!